The kids and I went to my parents a couple of weeks ago. We waited until my Dad would be home because my Mom kept saying how much he has been missing the kids. So we got there and they played outside with Grandpa for hours, I know because I watched from the warmth of the house. They did take a break for dinner and I told the kids it was time to go, they never want to leave Grandma's house is so much more fun than ours. Just as we start getting our stuff together Garrick says, "We forgot to make a nest." So Grandpa gets a paper bag, cuts it small and goes out in the dark with Garrick and Marley to make a nest. He comes back with the bag full of twigs and stinky cut grass and proceeds to put a couple of duck eggs in it. (I know what you're thinking, duck eggs, he has a friend who has egg laying ducks. He and my mom have been eating them.) He then tells me that the shells are really thick and they will be harder for Garrick to break.
On the way home I decide to break the news that the eggs aren't going to hatch. Needless to say Garrick is upset he knows they are going to hatch and is yelling at me. I even started to try to explain the difference between a fertilized egg and an unfertilized egg. Carl looked at me and said, "Are you really having the birds and bees talk with our 4 year old?" I guess I kind of did. Well, nothing worked Icky was mad, so I cut a deal. I said, "Okay Garrick if these eggs are going to hatch they will in a couple of days, if they hatch you are right and I was wrong so lets wait a couple days and see what happens." He agrees and I successfully smoothed over a knock-down-drag-out with my boy.
After he went to bed I didn't want to put the eggs and the nest in the fridge so I decided to put them out on the back porch since it was cold I figured the eggs wouldn't get gross yet. I didn't know it would be really windy that night. Next morning when I went out back to check on things the nest was gone and the poor eggs were lying on the patio cracked (not broken just cracked). I scooped them up as quickly as I could and carried them quietly to the garbage. I then crossed my fingers and waited for the questions.
He finally asked about the eggs later that afternoon. Oh the lies, I told him they had hatched and flown away. He then asked about the nest (which I still have not found) I told him they took it with them so they would have somewhere to sleep. He decided they hadn't gone far and asked with tears and sobs if we could go look for them. Oh the lies, I then said that they had flown to Oregon (our favorite vacation spot) because ducks love Oregon and that we could see them next time we went. He was completely satisfied and we have had a great story to tell ever since. But oh the lies a parent will tell to appease their beautiful child.
4 comments:
Lies like that will get you a first class ticket to hell...and by hell I mean that your child will tell everyone the story and you will have to keep adding details until you eventually can't tell what part of the story is real and what part is made up. One day when you are old you will just tell the story and truly believe it.
Lies are all good. we all do them, you are just a pro :)
Also tell him that ducks love Oregon so much that they are even the colleges mascot; or that Oregon loves ducks so much.
LOL!! This is the funniest story I have heard in a long time... haha!! You are my favorite mom ever! :)
I love this story. We love our children, and this will not hurt him in any way. He will actually retell it to his kids someday and they will all laugh. I found some eggs just like this in my flower bed a few days ago. I have no idea where they are from, we have no duck or birds, but my 5 yr. old was sure they too would hatch soon. She brought them into the garage, but a stray cat broke in and messed w/ them. But, I was also trying to find some way not to break her heart. So "Kudos" to you for loving your son enough to feel ridiculous! = )
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